How a racing heart tricks the brain into romance

HostThere was this famous study back in the seventies where a group of researchers set up a bit of a trap on two different bridges. One was a steady, low bridge made of solid wood, and the other was this terrifying, swaying thing hanging over a deep canyon. They had an attractive researcher stand at the end of both, handing out her phone number to men who crossed. The wild part is that the guys on the scary bridge were twice as likely to call her for a date. It makes you wonder if our hearts actually know the difference between being scared to death and falling in love. How do we get those two things so mixed up?

GuestIt's because our bodies are surprisingly uncreative when it comes to big feelings. We like to think that love feels one way and fear feels another, but deep down in the plumbing, your body really only has one way to turn up the volume. When you're standing on the edge of a cliff or looking at someone you find really attractive, your emergency system kicks in the exact same way. Your heart starts thumping against your ribs, your breath gets shallow, and your palms get all clammy. If you just looked at a chart of someone's heart rate and sweat levels, you couldn't tell if they were about to get chased by a bear or if they were on a first date. Psychologists call this state arousal, but they don't mean it in a romantic way. They just mean the body is in high gear.

HostSo you're saying the physical feeling is a total match? That seems like a bit of a flaw in how we're built. If my heart is racing, I should probably know why.

GuestYou would think so, right? But the body just sends the signal, and it's actually up to the brain to play detective. This is what people call the two-factor theory of emotion. Think of it like a two-step process. First, your body revs the engine. That's the physical part. Then, your brain looks around the room to see what might be causing the noise. It asks, why is my heart beating so fast? If you're walking down a dark, creepy alley, your brain sees the shadows and labels that racing heart as fear. But if you're sitting across a candlelit table from a beautiful stranger, the brain looks at them and labels that same racing heart as attraction. It's an active interpreter, but it's not a perfect one. It often makes mistakes.

HostThat sounds like we're just guessing at our own feelings. Is that why the guys on the bridge called the researcher? Their brains just did the math wrong?

GuestThat's exactly what happened. It's called the misattribution of arousal. Those men were stepping off a bridge that was swaying two hundred and thirty feet in the air. Their hearts were pounding because they were genuinely afraid of falling into a canyon. But when they got to the other side and met this attractive woman, their brains were still looking for a reason for that racing heart. Instead of saying, I'm terrified of that bridge, the brain looked at her and said, wow, I must be really into this person. They subconsciously transferred the energy from the height and the danger onto the woman. When the researchers looked at the surveys the men filled out, the guys from the high bridge even used more romantic and intense language. Meanwhile, the guys on the safe, low bridge didn't have any of that extra adrenaline pumping, so they stayed calm and were way less likely to call her.

HostWait, if I'm terrified on a bridge, I feel like I would be too busy trying not to faint to think about a date. It's hard to believe the brain could be that easily tricked.

GuestIt feels like we should be more self-aware, but the brain is a bit of a storyteller. It tries to make the best sense of the data it has in the moment. And there's a second layer to this called the excitation transfer paradigm. Even after the men stepped off the scary bridge and onto solid ground, the chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol were still floating around in their blood. The brain can realize very quickly that the danger is over, but it takes a few minutes for those chemicals to actually clear out of your system. So, the engine is still revving even though you have parked the car. If you meet someone while those chemicals are still circulating, your brain just grabs onto the nearest interesting thing to explain why you're still so keyed up.

HostSo that leftover energy just sticks to the next person you see? Does that mean things like horror movies or roller coasters are actually good for a date?

GuestThey're actually some of the best things you can do if you want to feel a spark. When you walk out of a scary movie or get off a fast ride, your heart is still going. You might think you're over the thrill, but those chemicals are still doing their work. When you turn to your partner, your brain takes all that leftover physical energy from the movie and uses it to fuel a sense of chemistry or closeness. You feel a rush, and because you're with them, they get the credit for it. It's like your brain is taking a shortcut. It sees the physical excitement and assumes it must be coming from the person you're with.

HostThe brain is basically just a confused detective trying to solve a crime with the wrong clues.

GuestIt really is, and it shows that our romantic feelings aren't always coming from some deep, soulful place; sometimes they're just the result of a lingering chemical buzz and a bridge that was a little too high.

HostThose swaying planks and that long drop into the canyon ended up being the perfect recipe for a phone call.